As mother's day approaches, I can not help feeling sad as I think about my mother who has departed many years ago. I envy those people whose moms are still around and could share wonderful moments with them and enjoy that especial day...The Mother's Day.
As a child, I have always seen my mother as an active and very dynamic woman. She was a hard working mom and cared so much for her children. Being the breadwinner in the family, she sees to it that we are well fed, well-dressed and she put so much importance of acquiring good education.
When she was young, she wanted so much to go to school and dreamt of being a teacher. But her family considered that women should stay home. Frustrated, she went to Manila, enrolled in a vocational school and took up dressmaking course. She became good at it and that was her means of earning a living until the end of her life.
She was courageous, very generous and bringing up six children was not easy. I can't really imagine how she was able to sustain us. She never gave up. She has that force of character that no one can deny it.
As a child, I have never heard say she loved me, but it's all seen in her actions. How she cared each of us.
The first time I heard her say she loved me was when I was in France, over the phone and that was a great shock to me! Ahhhhhhh, finally, she said it! She was very "pudique".
I miss my mother. I left home when I was seventeen years old. She was my inspiration. She encouraged me not to give up and pursue my higher education. I saw her sad eyes. I felt her sadness for not being able to help me go to school. But she was always there to boost my morale.
And I did not want to fail her.
The time I got my diploma, I gave and dedicated to her. She was so moved. She was so proud of me.
There were times when I was not that good to her. I was rebellious. I was unkind to her. But how I regret now. Now I believe in the saying that "you will only appreciate fully your mother when you become a mother yourself". And that is very true.
I wish she is around. I wish, she is here with me. I wish she is here to check on my patchwork. I wish she is here to help me do the right thing in sewing. Most of all, I wish she is here with me to share my joy of becoming soon a grandma. Yes, full of I wish....If only I could pull the time and we could bond together again.
But it is never too late. I am sure, up there, she is watching me. Watching after her children. Watching after her loved ones. And one thing that assures me, one day, yes one day, we'll be together again. And I am looking forward for that moment where we can talk, share laughters together and enjoy being together. And this time, for eternity, I hope.
Mother, just to let you know how much I love you and how much I owe my life to you. Without you, I will not be what I am today. I am so grateful and proud for having such a wonderful mother. You are the best mother in the world and I thank God for that. Believe me.
